Love and will are not mutually exclusive. They are complementary facets of the same process of self-affirmation and relationship with others.

He critiques modern society for reducing love to libido, often confusing genuine intimacy with mere erotic consumption. This distortion, according to May, contributes to emotional disconnection and spiritual emptiness.May proposes that true love involves care, respect, and active will—a decision to engage with the other fully, rather than passively submitting to fleeting passions.

1. The Nature of Love (II)

Will is described not simply as determination or stubbornness, but as the capacity to make intentional, responsible choices in the face of existential ambiguity.Willing is the capacity to act upon desire and sustain commitment.Wishing is more passive—desire without action.

2. The Role of Will (I)

May’s ideas are influenced by:<ol><li>Existential philosophy – Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Heidegger, Sartre</li><li>Depth psychology – Freud, Jung, Otto Rank</li><li>Humanistic psychology – Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow</li><li>Phenomenology – subjective experience as central to understanding being</li></ol>He merges these perspectives into a unique synthesis that places the human experience of meaning and moral responsibility at the center of psychological inquiry.

Scientific and Philosophical Roots

At the heart of human existence lies the void—a confrontation with the groundlessness of being. May, building on existentialists like Heidegger and Sartre, explains that love and will are responses to this existential anxiety.Love affirms connection and meaning in the face of isolation.Will affirms self-agency in the face of chaos.However, without grounding in courage and intentionality, both love and will can become corrupted:Love becomes possessive or avoidant. Will becomes dominating or repressed.

3. Love, Anxiety, and the Void

Love and Will is a profound and challenging text that examines the human condition through the existential lens. Rollo May confronts the reader with difficult truths about love, freedom, alienation, and the responsibilities of being. He ultimately offers hope: that by reclaiming both love and will as conscious, courageous acts, we can overcome the fragmentation of modern life and live with greater integrity and depth.

Conclusion

Love and Will by Rollo May, a seminal work in existential psychology, explores the complex interplay between human love, will, anxiety, and desire. Published in 1969, it captures the psychological struggles of modern individuals in navigating authenticity, intimacy, and personal agency in an increasingly mechanized and alienated world.

Introduction (I)

May draws from Nietzsche and Kierkegaard, arguing that the modern person has lost the strength to will because of overwhelming freedom, societal pressures, and fear of authenticity. This leads to decisional paralysis and inauthentic living.Will, when disconnected from love, becomes coercive or rigid. Love, when disconnected from will, becomes sentimental or obsessive. Only through their integration can one achieve existential wholeness.

2. The Role of Will (II)

May distinguishes between various types of love, grounded in classical and existential thought:<ol><li>Libido – sexual desire; biological and instinctual in nature</li><li>Eros – the drive toward union with the other; romantic and creative longing</li><li>Philia – deep friendship; nonsexual affection</li><li>Agape – selfless, spiritual love; altruism and compassion</li></ol>

1. The Nature of Love (I

In conclusion, Rollo May suggests that the integration of love and will is essential for:<ol><li>Personal development – discovering meaning and purpose</li><li>Psychological health – avoiding neurosis and fragmentation</li><li>Authentic relationships – engaging others as full persons, not objects</li></ol>This integration requires courage, a central existential virtue, to face uncertainty and embrace one's freedom responsibly.

6. Toward Integration: Love + Will = Growth

May, drawing from existential philosophy, psychoanalytic theory, and his own clinical insights, argues that love and will are not opposing forces, but rather interdependent dimensions of human experience that shape one's capacity for meaning, responsibility, and selfhood.

Introduction (II)

May laments the disappearance of myth in modern life—symbolic narratives that once provided individuals with existential orientation. Without myths, individuals struggle to understand their place in the world or to channel love and will constructively.He revisits the Prometheus myth to illustrate the existential hero: one who defies authority in pursuit of human growth, despite suffering. Love and will, in this context, become heroic acts of defiance against meaninglessness.

4. The Myth of the Hero and the Decline of Myth

May diagnoses a growing sense of apathy, conformism, and isolation in the modern world, linked to:Technological depersonalizationLoss of deep emotional bondsOveremphasis on freedom without responsibilityHe argues that without a strong foundation of intentional will and authentic love, modern individuals fall into narcissism, detachment, and existential dread.

5. The Modern Crisis: Apathetic Individualism

May asserts that the modern crisis of human existence arises from a disintegration of our understanding and practice of both love and will. As society becomes more dominated by technology, superficial pleasure, and depersonalized relationships, individuals increasingly struggle with emptiness, apathy, and existential anxiety.

Central Thesis

A deep psychological and existential exploration of how love and will shape human experience. Rollo May argues that reconnecting both is essential to overcoming modern apathy, isolation, and the loss of meaning.

"An extraordinary book on sex and civilization....An important contribution to contemporary morality."—Newsweek The heart of man's dilemma, according to Rollo May, is the failure to understand the real meaning of love and will, their source and interrelation. Bringing fresh insight to these concepts, May shows how we can attain a deeper consciousness.